Tools & Support

A self-check tool, guidance on supporting a friend, and curated resources — organized so you can find what you need without having to wade through everything.


How Are You Really Doing?

Work through these five areas and see your results. This is a reflection tool, not a clinical assessment.

Stress & Pressure

How much does the pressure you feel weigh on you day to day?

Barely noticeable
It's crushing

How often do you feel like you can't slow down, even when you want to?

Rarely
Almost always

When something goes wrong, how long does it take you to recover?

I bounce back quickly
It follows me for a long time

Burnout & Energy

Check any that feel true right now:


Sleep

On a typical night, how many hours of sleep do you actually get?

How often do you wake up feeling rested?

Almost never
Almost always

Connection

How often do you feel truly understood by someone in your life?

Almost never
Often

When things get hard, how likely are you to reach out to someone?

Very unlikely
Very likely

How much do you feel like you have to keep up an image around the people close to you?

Not at all
Almost always

Identity & Self-Relationship

How much of your sense of self-worth is tied to how you perform or achieve?

Very little
Almost entirely

When you imagine a version of yourself that isn't achieving anything, how do you feel about that person?

I'd still feel good about them
I'm not sure I'd like them

How often do you feel proud of yourself for who you are, separate from what you've done?

Almost never
Often

How to Help a Friend

What to say

I've noticed you seem like you're carrying something. I'm here if you want to talk.
Are you okay? It doesn't seem like it.
You don't have to have it all together with me.
What do you need right now – to be helped, heard or hugged?

What not to say

Everything will be fine – you don't know that.
It could be worse – it minimizes..
You have so much going for you – it adds pressure and guilt.
You should find a counselor – it closes the conversation.
I know exactly how you feel – you don't.

Helpful Resources

Online Therapy

UWill (uwill.com)

Virtual counseling for students, often offered free through schools and universities. Good first step if you're not sure about therapy.

uwill.com →

BetterHelp (betterhelp.com)

Subscription-based therapy matched to a licensed therapist. Text, audio, or video sessions. More flexible than traditional therapy.

betterhelp.com →

Open Path Collective (openpathcollective.org)

Low-cost in-person and online therapy ($30–$80/session) for people who can't afford standard rates.

openpathcollective.org →

Articles

Students in high-achieving schools are now named an 'at-risk' group

Washington Post, 2019. The research that initially called attention to high-achievers as a vulnerable population.

Read article →

6 Things Psychologists Wish Men Knew About Mental Health

The New York Times 2026. Practical, honest, and direct.

Read article →

Mental tricks that help top athletes perform

The Athletic, 2026. Performance psychology applied to real life.

Read article →

Wil Wheaton on Depression and Anxiety

The actor best known as Wesley Crusher writes honestly and without shame about living with chronic depression and generalized anxiety. One of the more unguarded pieces you'll find from a public figure.

Read article →

Landon Donovan

Long before athletes talking about mental health was common, Donovan opened up about depression, stepping away from the game, and what it cost him to keep it all inside.

Read article →

Podcasts

The Happiness Lab (Dr. Laurie Santos)

Dr. Santos teaches the most popular course at Yale, Psychology and the Good Life with ~25% of Yale undergraduates taking it. She has put the lessons into cool episodes that cover things like Making the Grade, Calm Can Be Courageous and Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety. I like how she shares stuff she's struggling with herself, and times when she decided to take a break and reassess.

Hidden Brain (NPR/Shankar Vedantam)

Shankar is that cool older brother you wish you had. He tackles tough subjects without hesitation, looking for the one counterintuitive study or obscure behavior that reframes something you thought you understood about yourself. What I like about Hidden Brain is how it treats me as someone who wants to be genuinely surprised, not reassured. Most mental health content moves toward comfort, and Hidden Brain moves toward discomfort in a good way.

Therapy for Black Girls (Dr. Joy Harden Bradford)

It's important to find a therapist you like, you trust, who gets you and sometimes someone who looks like you. Dr. Bradford creates space for therapy that's rooted in the specific cultural, social, and historical pressures Black women navigate. She's cool - check her out.

The Mental Illness Happy Hour (Paul Gilmartin)

Sometimes I just need to laugh. I really like Paul Gilmartin, a comedian and self-described sufferer. He interviews guests about trauma, addiction, depression, and shame with a candor that clinical podcasts structurally cannot match. What makes it engaging is Gilmartin's own ongoing struggle, he's not a recovered host offering wisdom from the other side, he's someone still in it, trying to figure it all out.

Where Should We Begin? (Dr. Esther Perel)

Nervous about starting therapy? Wish you could listen in on other people's sessions from the comfort of your own room. Dr. Perel records actual therapy sessions with real couples. This sometimes feels more like parent stuff, but it's still helpful to hear how people work through anger, sadness and frustration. There's some moments of self-recognition and second hand healing.

Speaking of Psychology (APA)

Looking for official stuff? The American Psychological Association's podcast talks to researchers about their latest work. If you like hearing from the person who ran the study, explains the caveats, the methodology choices, tradeoffs and the actual uncertainty, this a great option for you.

Books

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

The leading argument for how smartphones and social media rewired adolescent mental health. Worth reading whether you agree or not.

View on Amazon →

Deliver Me From Nowhere

Bruce Springsteen's account of writing Nebraska while working through depression and anxiety. A rare look at how one of the most celebrated artists of his generation quietly fell apart and found his way back.

View on Amazon →

Courses

The Science of Well-Being (Laurie Santos, Coursera)

Free. Based on the same research as The Happiness Lab. One of the most-enrolled courses on the internet.

Videos

Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED Talk

The Harvard Study of Adult Development in 12 minutes. One of the most-watched TED Talks ever.

Watch on TED →

The Weight of Gold

Michael Phelps on Olympic athletes and depression. Honest and unexpected.

Watch on HBO →

Ted Lasso

A coach who leads with empathy, not ego. Ted Lasso is one of the best fictional portrayals of male vulnerability, pressure, and what it actually looks like to ask for help.

Watch on Apple TV →

Rafa

"Rafa" delves into Nadal's mental health throughout his life, including the effect his formative longtime coach, his Uncle Toni, had when he conditioned a young Nadal to equate suffering with success. The series is available on Netflix.

Watch on YouTube →

Crisis and Support

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988 (U.S.). Free, confidential, 24/7.

Crisis Text Line

Text HOME to 741741. If talking feels like too much, start here.

SAMHSA National Helpline

1-800-662-4357. Free referrals to local treatment and support.

NAMI (nami.org)

National Alliance on Mental Illness. Great for finding local support and understanding what you're dealing with. nami.org →