The loneliest year of my life looked fine from the outside.

I'm one of those kids for whom work and school has typically come easy. Still, when I went away to boarding school for high school, my freshman year became the loneliest, hardest year of my life.

I was in a new place, with new people, new expectations, and away from home and everything that was familiar. The first risk I took — signing up for accelerated Greek — was a spectacular mess. I nearly failed. Friend groups seemed to be forming quickly, and I was certain I had missed the boat. The dining hall terrified me so much that I largely ate in my room, living on granola bars and takeout. I struggled to share any of this with anyone. Everything was hard, and I became Will, the kid who doesn't say much.

The funny thing about loneliness and pain is that it hurts so much that eventually you can't hold it in anymore. And when you let it out, you suddenly feel so much better you can't believe you waited so long.

I hit a total low. I opened up to a small group of friends who knew "Will-who-doesn't-say-much," and suddenly realized I wasn't alone. I also realized that people liked the real me — not the stoic version I was sending out in front of me.

I did a lot of work after that. Understanding the sadness, the anxiety, the loneliness, and where the pressure was actually coming from. I tried new things and learned what worked for me: talking about it, running, team sports. I learned what didn't: trying to prove myself, competing for approval, performing composure I didn't feel.

60-second intro — William Sueling

I know I'm not unusual.

I'm 18. I've dealt with loneliness, anxiety, and depression despite external signs of achievement and success. I know I'm not unusual. I know a lot of people are carrying the same things I was, quietly, because the environment makes asking for help feel like admitting failure.

Beyond Achievement is my attempt to change that conversation — particularly for high-performing people whose struggles are masked by success.

The project is built on research, interviews, and real student voices. The goal is simple: more honest conversations, less stigma, and better tools for the students and adults trying to navigate this together.

Where this started

This project grew out of a research paper — Pressure and Privilege: Tracing the History of Mental Healthcare at Phillips Academy — written in the spring of 2025. It traces 75 years of mental health policy and student experience at one of the country's most demanding secondary schools, and makes the case that the language around mental health has grown more sophisticated while the structural conditions generating distress have remained largely unchanged.

The paper draws on archival sources, student letters and diaries, oral histories, counselor interviews, and annual student surveys.

Available on request — will@beyond-achievement.com

Questions, ideas, or just to say hello.

If you have questions about the project, want to share your own story, or are interested in bringing these conversations to your school or community — reach out. There's no form, no auto-reply. Just an email address.